October 4, 2009
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The next day I called him. I wanted to know what he was thinking about in the car, whether it was about the gallery or about her. I left a message posing the questions I pondered in the last post, regarding his work. That was Friday.
He finally called today, saying he’d been busy. I know he enjoys talking to me (he never wants to hang up) but he doesn’t call unless he has a reason. We talked about his feelings after seeing the galleries and it was just as I suspected. He was sparse with his feelings so I likened it to the experience of going back after my inopportune exile from the dance community. In the middle of drawing parallels he cut me off, able then to voice his frustration and resentment. But after he was done I finished my story so he would know I knew what it felt like.
Walking to the restaurant he told me pointedly that this might be his last trip to Portland until next spring. I didn’t believe him so I kind of ignored it. But he brought it up again, saying he doesn’t make the trip in winter. I told him on the phone I’d gotten an email last night from my realtor — he still has my earnest money so I guess he’s still my realtor– telling me about another house for sale in my price range. I told him (the painter) I might be coming down next week to look at it. He said to let him know when but then made noises about being locked in the studio. I said, “Don’t worry I won’t bother you,” to which he backtracked about not being too busy. I cut him off and changed the subject. Before we got back to it he got a call and I left for Spanish.
So Mia was right about him. Part of that I think is his not having children, never loving someone more than himself. And part of it is his lack of interest in people. I noticed that at the restaurant the first night I met him. It seemed a plus then, his inner world so much more interesting than what was going on around him.
I think OBL was right, too. “Focused” was the word I think she used. When I didn’t hear back from him I started wondering if the date had even had anything to do with me. I have enough reservations about him, some of which I haven’t gone into here, that for now I am happy to watch it play out. He’s certainly more interesting than anyone else I know.
Comments (7)
Wow, I’m almost never right about these things. I’ve been out of the dating world for 18 years now. That seems like a really long time, doesn’t it?? REALLY long.
Is it relevant to ask – why did he get divorced in the first place?
The good news is that you are perceptive both about where he is at and what you are comfortable with.It makes all the difference. I hope things go well with the realtor.
I feel so out of it, lately I’m not sure I know who/what you’re talking about. I think I have to spend more time, intuiting the background story in order to understand what you DO say, and since I’m only checking in briefly at lunch these days…..well, so I’m out of it! But I am here!
See, I did just go back and re-read your last few posts, and yes I know exactly what you’re saying. Ummmm, you don’t think maybe it could have been that ummm maybe it was MY mind that was not so clear? Nah. Impossible.
I had never considered that he might be too self interested, but that really does fit and I can see your reservations there, but also can understand your continued interest too.
I like how you made it okay for him to release and express feelings, but hope that it will work both ways eventually. I guess I don;t have the long haul feeling about him from reading but he is interesting the way you write about him. Not sure how I feel about him. You are so objective sounding that I could hate or embrace him!
…he sounds like a helluva guy…and isn’t everyone around here just a teensy bit self-interested ; )