October 3, 2009
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He arrived wearing an expensive corduroy jacket and gaberdine slacks with a wine-colored denim/cotton-type shirt. Sadly, I was underdressed, not wanting to make a big deal or seem wanna-be artistic. Who knew people dressed for 1st Thursday.
Parking was an unexpected breeze. He heads first thing to what turns out to be the gallery which represents him. He plows through there with me trailing behind trying to get a glimpse of the art, having no idea he is looking for something of his. When he doesn’t see it on two of the walls, we leave.
“Wait,” I say, as he heads for the door. “We didn’t see everything.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he says, remembering me. “This is the gallery where I have my work but it’s not up.”
“Oh,” I say, seeing his disappointment. “Well, okay. Let’s go.”
“No, it’s all right.” And with that we head back in to the left front of the building to see what we missed..
The way he talked I was going to learn all about art but really he just wanted to see what was selling, what people were asking, and move onto the next gallery. We ran into a teacher of his at the second place and that made him happy. And in the third one we ran into a group of gay men, two of them members of his church. We discovered we all were going to the same restaurant afterwards.
We made it there first and were told it would be a 30-minute wait. Out of nowhere comes a young woman who says she can seat us. We order and I can tell he intends to pay, something I decide is okay.
I suspect if he hadn’t had those boosts to his ego (the friends) it would have been a different kind of night. Even on the way back to my house I could tell something was on his mind. The next morning I wondered if it bothered him that so many of the paintings were outdoor scenes. Not exactly what he used to do but similar. He says he took a lot of heat back then for it was not en vogue. People were either selling modern art or impressionistic stuff. Definitely not these woodsy scenes that were everywhere we went.
He probably saw lost opportunity. He probably was envious of the people who sold paintings he could have done better. But maybe he sees a chance to get back in the game, now that the kind of work he does is being shown.
He’s spent the last year trying to get his wife back which was a complete waste of time as near as I can tell. She’d called him the day before he drove up here and he, for the first time, didn’t respond. He told me he’d wanted to talk to her all week and then she calls.
He held me tight at the door and I felt the soft, freshly-cut hair on the back of his neck. He smelled good.
I wonder what we’re doing with each other.
Comments (5)
The fly by night part of me wonders why there has to be any figuring out of what you are doing with each other at all. I know it’s childish, and on another night in another mood I might feel differently, but tonight I feel like telling the speaker of this to roll with it and see where it goes.
I don’t know. Maybe it is Randy Pausch. I saw a book of his in a goddess shop and then a billboard about him on the way to I forget where. I’d assigned my kids to watch the video of his last lecture two weeks ago when I was out at a doctor’s appointment. I asked them to write about what his message was. The only thing I remember from their responses was that one bored kid wrote, “He wants parents to let their kids write on the walls.” It’s gotten in to me I guess and nothing sounds better than getting to touch his neck again and being close enough to smell him.
You describe a common phenomena where a person is choosing between natural self interest and accommodation that may work against it in order to stay connected to someone else.When its at a subtle level its easy to tune out but the cumulative effect can be devastating..We value being connected and tolerate subverting our own needs in order to bridge the emotional gap that might otherwise exist in a relationship. The bridge however is not a safe crossing unless we are clear about why we cross it that way and know the benefit cost ratio to ultimately serve our priorities..In this piece I see a keen awareness of the dynamic which many people sense but do not think through.Is it a mere hinderance to the relationship or does it pose harm to its potential? To me the answer lies in how the speaker addresses the broader issue by reminding him that she has not seen everything , that she is not an appendage.His response is heartening but one notes he needed to be prodded to be with her in the moment.The real question is she going to always be willing to orientate him in order to have him focus in on the two of the them?The back story imposed on the incident is telling.I like how you weave it into the narrative so that a incident between them can be seen as something more then a minor misbehavior on his part early in their outing..It suggests assertiveness but patience on her part and possible shifts in his attitude towards her but not in his tendency to be self absorbed.If she can handle that they might bring comfort and companionship and pleasure to each other which is not a waste of time.it depends more on her outlook then hirs because he seems likely to remain all about him.I get where Boo is coming from though.Connection ,simple and direct no matter how it is obtained is of great value to a person as it offsets the sese of isolation our culture seems to have spawned.Very well written.
Sounds like a pretty focused guy. Maybe TOO focused.
Wait, wait, wait.
Back-up.
You jumped from “…on the way back to my house…” to “The next morning…” waaaaay too fast.
C’mon, what is this, “From here to Eternity” with a cut to the surf crashing portentously to close a scene?
What did you leave out?
Seriously, I love your imagery, Prudy. I saw the video playing in my head as you described people and scenes. That’s how I know someone’s writing is affecting me.
Peace,
Jay
chasing away ghosts and memories and lonliness i suspect….