February 21, 2008
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He called. Just now. I’d left two messages on his phone yesterday. The first said: “It occurs to me that I have not given you my Email address, and sometimes that’s ….pause ….handy.” I was trying to make it easy for him, thinking I might speed up the process. I felt okay doing it because he had mentioned not having it once, but I never gave it to him because I wanted him to call, instead of writing.
The second call was after one drink and after a time at night when I knew he would not be calling. I was annoyed, and I was done waiting patiently. I don’t remember everything but what he quoted tonight, which he thought was pretty funny was — He exaggerated my tone – ”either you’re in or you’re out.” I remember saying, “it shouldn’t take three days to figure that out.” And I told him I was fine with whichever way it went, I just wanted to know; that I totally understood if he weren’t comfortable … Oh, and I said I thought it was bordering on rude, the part about the three days. For off-the-cuff, after one drink, I did okay.
I did better tonight. I’d made a joke which got a good laugh and to which he replied. “I like you you a lot,” and somehow I was able to manage “A person can’t ask for much more than that.” But by the end of the call I really couldn’t tell if it was a mercy call because of our mutual friends or if he wants to get to know me better before he decides whether he’s in or out. I’m thinking the latter. At this point I’m disappointed enough by his making me wait four days and what might have taken him so long that it feels like I don’t really care any more. I can’t imagine that’s true, but I feel sort of done.
Comments (10)
Patience! Not all of us know everything so quickly. Although, I also think 4 days is at the totally outer limit for a call back.
I can’t imagine it being that complicated. Seriously.
Ahh!
i am always saying “you are either in or you’re out…”
hmmm…. i think it depends on what you want… a long term relationship or just for fun kind of thing. it may take longer than four days for someone to think about what he wants long term. i don’t think it’s as easy as you want. it would have been nice if he knew instantly, but i think it takes some people a long time to decide if they are ready for the committment. so in or out… maybe he isn’t right for you.
Men just don’t seem to figure things like this out as quickly as we do…some never do!! marilyn
^ That is true sometimes. There is a book “He’s just not that into you” that purports to let a woman know that a guy isn’t interested based upon things like calling. However, at least two men have asked me if three weeks was too long to call a girl back. I asked why they’d waited and both were ditzes. Just didn’t find the right time. I wanted to sock them of course.
I am inspired by your matter of fact honesty with him.
I was inspired because you seemed to be motivated not by him or anything extrinsic but by your own mind and all the intrinsic stuff that makes Prudy an amazing woman.
Somebody wants you madly, you either have not met him yet or he has not let himself be known. Either way I want him to hurry up for you.
I don’t claim to know anything about beginning relationships. I do know that when I feel overwhelmed, I often feel a sort of mental paralysis, and I’m unable to initiate anything new . . .
RYC: The latest rejection was for the sci-fi story. They held on to it until the accepted entries were announced. There’s no opportunity to resubmit this story to The First Line, due to the format of the magazine. I was asked to try a new story for the next given starting line — not to resubmit the current story. I’m currently looking for a new home for this one. The story that you know is still awaiting a decision elsewhere. The next publication comes out March 1, so I should hear something soon . . .
I wanna know how to get one of those TRUE thingys! Seems like I’m on all the time! I find blogging to be extremely relaxing and checking on friends to be fun! I’ve always been a people person.
Don’t you just love the dating game!