May 7, 2005

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  It’s a race to the finish.  My plane leaves Sunday morning and I am madly working my way through this checklist.  It’s my new thing.  I have two pieces of paper.  On the front of the first is the stuff I want to do each week.  On the back is what I should be doing every day.  The second piece of paper has a list for the month and then things that I should do once a year.  Ooops! I just thought of gutters.  Gotta go write that down.

  
  

  So every morning I make out a schedule.  I am slowly getting caught up and it feels great.  Instead of getting on xanga in the morning I go to the gym.  When I get home I sit down and look at the comments you left.  But I don’t write back yet.  I go get a shower and DO MY HAIR.  This is huge because for a long time I have been lazy.  Plus I’ve had a haircut that didn’t require curling.  But with a little time and effort I look hot.  Well, maybe hot’s not the right word.  So then I come down and make a good  breakfast or sometimes go straight for lunch.  And because I’m doing weight watchers it’s super healthy.  After lunch I make some calls.  Yes, I have become more social. 

  
  

  I decided to make an effort to see more people and it’s been really fun.  I go up and put some make-up on, get in my car and go run an errand or two, whatever’s on my list.  I just like getting out. 

  
  

  The other thing I’ve been doing is shopping.  There are some things I haven’t bought in a few years because I didn’t like the styles.  But this year I like everything and I’m stocking up.  And because of the trip I really looked at putting together outfits.  I am feeling fairly inspired about being a woman.  I got so caught up in what was going on in my head that I forgot about the rest of my body.  It feels so great to get out in the world, wearing my new cute sandals.  Day after day I would sit here wearing cords, tennis shoes, and a sweatshirt, my ass growing larger my the minute.  I’ve only lost 7 pounds but it’s enough to get in my jeans and the new cropped pants I found that fit me just right. 

  
  

  When I get home I work in the yard.  You can’t believe how beautiful it is here.  All these flowers have come up that I didn’t know I had. 

  
  

  Have you noticed I haven’t mentioned writing?  I haven’t written a damn thing.  That’s not true.  I wrote about Moon.  It was my turn to workshop so I read this thing I wrote when I was at the peak of distraught.  It was pretty good.  I sounded like a nutcase but everyone liked it.  Only thing was they thought I’d made it up.  They started throwing words around like lesbian and love.  You’re not supposed to say anything until they’re done but I was just about to set them straight when this one blowhard picked up on how it was an ethereal love of ideas, a shared sense of spirituality.  Someone else used the word obsessed and the consensus was that I had entered this fantasy world where everyone puts forth this fabulous persona and it’s such a feel good place that I stay there all day and night.  When I say, “ I,” I’m referring to my character. 

  
  

  I hadn’t anticipated their response.  Only a couple people have blogged before, one being the teacher.  But he looked the most surprised when I said I had written about myself.  A hush fell over the room and I tried to fill the silence with noises about how blogging can be a good thing.  They all wanted me to rewrite it to include some of Moon’s comments because if you write in first person there’s too much telling if you don’t have dialogue providing another’s perspective.  I said I’d just done it as therapy and would probably throw it away.  That’s when the teacher got pissed off.  And I don’t blame him.  He’s letting us use non-fiction in a fiction writing class.  Plus, we take each other’s work very seriously.  Shit, they’d talked about my piece for an hour.

  
  

  That’s enough of that.  I gotta write an assignment and go to bed.  I will be back in a week!

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 12:59 am
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