I’m not sure why I don’t want to write.  I’m so busy living.

It looks like I’m going to Seattle after all.  I was sure this whole custody issue would blow up and I’d be on duty this weekend.  My bellydance teacher is back from Germany and we are taking the train to an event in Seattle.  I am so looking forward to seeing all those people again.  It’s been a long time. 

The rain has finally stopped and I took the dogs to the park.  Because of the heavy rain over the past week, there are small bodies of water in this enclosed five acres that have been fenced off for a dog park.  Plus the trail around the perimeter, which they keep covered with mulch, has become a muddy trench in spots.  My dog, who had been inside for a week, went ripping through the mud, diving into the water, actually laying down in it while everyone laughed.  I kept walking like she wasn’t mine.

I went to weight watchers and I swear this woman should be a motivational speaker making big bucks doing the circuit.  Each time, without fail, she manages to say just the right thing to make me shop right, listen to music, go to the park and just be more at home in my world.  This time she was talking about buying a bunch of flowers that were really just stems with unopened buds.  She took the bundle of stalks home, cut the bottoms off and placed them in water.  They were in her bathroom where she could admire them each morning as the buds bloomed.  She was making an analogy, of course, like she does with everything, but while she was standing up there cooing about the hope of spring there was a shift in me, and I felt the nudge of inspiration.  I went to the store and really made an effort to come up with some healthy meals instead of randomly picking up things I was hungry for, ending up with no complete meal ideas. 

I feel pretty bad about how I don’t dance, I don’t wear pretty things, I don’t go to stimulating events, I don’t listen to beautiful music; all the things I used to do.  The idea of watching those buds open on her bathroom counter, that being my inspiration for the week — I don’t know, it just made me sad.  So I am going upstairs now to dig through my closet and try to find something I can still get into, and then I am going to pack for an exciting weekend!