March 27, 2005
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Tomorrow’s Easter and it will be the first year, since I was 21 and married, that I have not celebrated with family, food, and drink. Right about now I’d be putting together the Easter baskets. I didn’t even dye eggs this year. I was going to yesterday but that was before I learned my ex had decided to take over doing the brunch. I’ve been doing the brunch and he’s been doing the dinner but as soon as his girlfriend got into the picture things changed. She is a fabulous party giver and last year he suddenly wanted to do brunch. I had a fit and said the girls would be at my house from 10:00 to 1:00. He said he’d do his from 1-4.
Actually they were having such a good time I don’t think they got out of there until after 2:00. When I was still up in the mountains the youngest told me he was doing his early this year and I thought, you know what I’m done with this bullshit. I’ll start a new tradition. He can have my brunch. He can do the baskets. Since I left, especially on Christmas, it’s been a pain in the neck waiting for the girls to come over. They no sooner get here and open presents and then he’s picking them up to go to Dim Sum. I fail to see how that is an appropriate Christmas Day tradition but whatever.
He can have all the holidays and I will make new traditions. It’s not worth getting all upset about.
Comments (12)
{{hugs}} sounds like he’s competing for their time. Ugh…
more hugs. tis most certainly not worth getting upset about and as for making new traditions, please do. :) that’s one way life transforms and renews itself and why shouldn’t you give it a hand? and to do otherwise just plays into his game of “gotcha” and that’s no f un. thanks much for your comment – i don’t know quite why it works either, and wasn’t sure it did, until i read what you said and said, ummmm, ok! lily
I hate so much how they do that- try to take over the traditions, posit themselves in the central place. Argghh. You are right, though, to let it go. It’s not worth the aggravation. Make new traditions, and if he copies those too, why, invite him to a quantum black hole party (see Homer’s post on chronosynclastic infundibula)! I want to give you a BIG HUG: this is so unfair. Try not to let it get to you. Are your daughters coming over tomorrow evening? xo
hmmm Sounds like eternal remorse and a shabby way to
pull the kids closer to him…all is not lost for
these girls know your place in thier life…
never doubt this my sweet friend..
Holidays sure do get to the tenderest parts of the heart, don’t they? I’m thankful that somehow I’ve reached an age where I sometimes go to my son’s house (daughter lives in another town) instead of vice versa – as I will today for several hours to be with him and my 2 grands. I think your idea of starting new traditions is a winner.
Good Morning Luv…
I sometimes forget the music is here fo my speakers are never on
after a scary evening of a chrons attack and 200 bucks for meds and physican
I am quite drained here…
Jill Scott is the artist…she sings of hard love,tenderness and family
I love her
I *smile*
We’re all sick and getting ready to leave for a week in Banff, so all Easter stuff was put off but a few chocolates for the kids. That all the obligatory command preformance family functions are postponed bothers me not at all. I think starting new traditions is the only way to go–only problem is getting the “WE MUST CELEBRATE ON THE DAY” people to stop being such sheep.
I am beginning to get into dressage–my big QH mare has lots of issues so it will be a very slow beginning.
good for you! new traditions can mean more than old ones. why don’t you take the girls to high tea at a nice hotel and discuss the need for new traditions and tell them that you’re not going to compete for their attention. maybe the three of you can invent the best holidays ever! you’ll look like the good guy and they’ll think you’re cool- and then- you’ll have to do something on holidays that don’t include them- new friends? new places?
Pru
sounds like you need to put on some music and dance…
I do it all the time…but I can’t this day so I shall
lay lightly and listen to the beauty of the day
dorothea
/hugs…those were/are/always needed…and I think you do have it right..make new ones, and rememebr that the times you had with those traditions in the past is still embedded in their memories, happiness and love…
If only I were as patient with my dad as you are with your ex. Really, he sounds a lot like my dad.
The easiest thing to do to avoid feeling rushed and your children feeling guilty is to start traditions that do not fall on holidays.