January 20, 2005
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This is like when you have a conversation with somebody and after it’s over you think of the most obvious thing you could have said. We handed in our first story tonight. And I haven’t been to that swimming pool since probably 1987, but you’d have thought I’d at least remember the smell of chlorine. HELLO. Did I remember to mention the sounds? NO.
It’s funny that just sitting here, the echo of all those kids’ voices punctuated by the lifeguard’s whistle, that’s the first thing that comes to mind. We were supposed to focus on the setting. Oh, well, next time. I need to start a checklist. Next time smell and sound will get checked off. I should look into finding something written by a blind writer.
I put my name on the board, volunteering to bring 17 copies of something I’d written lately. It wasn’t until we were leaving that he said we’d be reading our work ALOUD. I wanted to run up and erase my name.
I’m sorry I didn’t have time to post tonight’s segment. I will say that the next year I was with W, and pretty much forgot all about the dream. Until one day the friend who started me going to that part of the coast, in the first place, invited me down to meet his girlfriend. I was driving back when I saw the bridge and thought I’d go take a look at the house, just for the hell of it. There were three guys standing in the driveway.
I’m too tired…
tomorrow
Comments (5)
You are going to rock their worlds. Some details are too obvious to mention, and any way easy enough to go back and fix – the story’s the main thing. And they will be wowed, I do think so.
You know, I think writing is more interested when it focuses on unexpected details, rather than the kinds of details everyone would choose. I mean, writing about the smell of chlorine at a swimming pool strikes me as a little…trite. Writing about the lifeguard’s whistle and the kid’s voices seems more original and also gives more information.
you do a great job of drawing a mental picture of the setting so quit worrying about it. Do you set the stage w/ the setting? Do you introduce the tone of the piece with the setting? Do you make the setting come alive? Is it almost another character? Those are the questions you should ask yourself. I teach the kids to use the five senses bc it is an easy way for them to focus on details and i want them to write detailed, vivid settings- but you need to branch beyond the senses (include them when vital), use them when necessary, but they aren’t always the tool you need for the story!
will have to agree…some things the reader must do ;you fed us
with such nourishing words and I still…this day sit here smiling
you are going to blow them away
I just know it…
((((HUGS))))
I wasn’t thinking in the same vein as your other commenters…I was recalling the obvious things I didn’t think to say til later! lol
But…yeah… Some things are nearly universally experienced so don’t need as much detail, but those things unique to your personal story would make it stand out. (I think I should write that down, so I don’t forget it! hahaha!) Instead of trying to find yet another set of words to describe a star-filled sky, I think it would be more interesting to read how someone let her mind play connect the dots and recognized a map very similar to one she’d found in her dead grandfather’s seachest! (Oooo…now where the heck was that going? lol)
I love being inspired, and, reading you, I am always that…
Peace and Love…GFW