January 4, 2005
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Lionne, somewhat reluctantly, posed another perspective, that of staying invisible to him. And it sounds reasonable to me except that I can’t decide, with his personality, if it would be better to come on strong or to lay low. He stepped way too close into my space, deliberately, and seemed to enjoy watching me pretend it wasn’t happening. That’s what I keep coming back to.
I just talked to my brother, trying to find out if he’s home. I see his mother’s car in the driveway, but maybe the husband drove it home and she is still at the beach with her friend, my brother’s neighbor, and Doug. Apparently Doug is rarely next door, except to get on the roof and do chores the husband is too old to do now. I also found out that Doug has a girlfriend and they live together. I saw her once, rail thin just like Doug. METH. No, I don’t know that. But I think I have a last name so, tomorrow, I can call that policewoman back and see what they’ve got or rather if they’ve got. They can’t tell me what it is, just if they have something on him.
I had to stand in front of the window he admires my tree from, and me. Tuesday is recycling day, so I wanted to get the tree down. I should have thought to do it in the daylight so I wouldn’t be visible. I finally got the last of the lights off and got the tree out of the stand. I hauled it over to the front door and started to go out when I realized that if he wanted to say something to me like “ljerp9ety-0pweojrklasnf”(cussing) now would be the time. So I quickly closed and locked the door, standing the tree up to wait until morning. My brother thinks I should call the mother, instead of going over there, because what if she’s not there, and it’s the husband who answers the door, or worse, Doug. On and on, this drags. I’m glad I can go to the hospital tomorrow and deal with people I know what to say to.
Comments (11)
I just so wish this hadn’t happened, and I do wish it resolves soon. The guy across the street here isn’t an addict, but he, well, practically propositions me anytime I say hi, it was so bad the first year here that I hid, too, whenever I saw him, and last Summer mistakenly accepted a ride to the supermarket, when he was, again, saying, women shouldn’t be alone, they need boyfriends, and started knocking on my door late at night, making my dog bark up a storm, so I could’t leave any of the ground floor windows open at night, even in the heat, lest he creep in. It’s more irritating than can be described, a guy who’s intruding on your personal space in some way or other. I can’t even say hi to him on the street, he starts chasing after me if I do. Usually men make themselves scarce when you talk of your financial woes; this guy invited me and my kids to come and rent his smelly basement! So invisibility is the best path there, for sure. But with you, with the meth, it’s a little more complicated. I’d follow your gut instinct… xo (& thanks for the wonderful comments…hugs)
I was so hoping you were by now safe from this kind of fear.
I hope you are by nite’s end and I hope your “doug” really gets
to feel as uncomfortable as he has made you.
have a sweet Hospital day I shall be back when the migraines cease
here .
((((HUGS))))
I’m tellin’ ya, Moon, it’s all that energy getting stuck up there. You think too much. Be in your belly!
none should live with that kind of fear… it’s not right! Borrow a really BIG Rottweiller… they look tough but are sweet and loving! However, they are protective of those they love…. only a nut would cross one on his own turf!
lol..ok it is the universal question we ask one another
“What are you thinking”
so I am explaining my thoughts on the question…
whoa…and it had three parts
I am guessing i better keep those to myself
Man…where have I been?? Geez…and here you are needing me…
I dated a guy for two weeks once, when he weirded out on me…I told him I just wanted to be friends…and started dating his friend…who introduced me to Hubby #2. All through that weird guy would say things…you know…like he didn’t care who I was with, he’d wait for me? Well, seems he meant it. Since we’d dated briefly, I was able to get a restraining order through our Alternatives to Violence Program… But I ended up taking him to court 7 times for breaking the restraining order. He went to jail each time…and consistently longer each time. The last time for 10 mos. I begged the police to tell me what else I could do…and a detective asked to see what evidence I had. He went to the Asst. DA…and a Grand Jury was assembled. I was the State’s only witness… The guy was convicted of a Fourth Degree Felony…1st Offense Aggravated Stalking. He was given 18 mos…9 mos with good time…and got out of jail the same day. (Since he’d just served 10 mos.) Needless to say, with a three year prison sentence hanging over his head, he’s been very good…but that doesn’t mean I feel safe. The guy lives right behind my mother…
Pepper mace…or mace…or just pepper spray. I don’t know what’s legal where you live, but I bought a small can that attaches to my keychain at K-Mart. A cop told me to shake it often, to make sure it’ll fire, if I ever use it. It’s a good thing for everyone…and discreet enough that no one even knows you have it. I have a variety of knives around the house, at convenient spots…which I hope I never have to use, but after being so scared for so long, I doubt hesitation will be an issue. When I get really scared…and it does still happen, from time to time, although I some times can’t pinpoint why…just a feeling, ya know, that I’m not about to ignore…I borrow a gun. It’s okay to have shotguns here, without a lisence, as long as you don’t have any domestic violence charges in your past. I usually borrow my friend’s shotgun…and keep it where I know where I can get to it, in a hurry. Every kid that comes into my house knows it’s here…and most of these kids have been around guns, so it’s not like they’re interested, but I don’t want anyone being curious… I just tell them.
Sorry…I feel like I’m rambling. But I want to be safe…and when I don’t feel that way, I do what I can to make myself feel as close to it as possible. My son is scared of guns, so I’ve told him a hundred times they don’t go off by themselves…if no one touches it,there is nothing to fear. But I’m a natural with pistols and rifles and shotguns…little thing I discovered in the military…so, while I may never have to pull the trigger, just knowing I could hit my target if I need to makes I big difference.
I’d recommend some kind of self-defense… I can’t do anything too physical, but I do know how to get away, from a few holds…and a few places to do quick punches that can at least make someone pause.
I, too, think the phone call is a good idea. Since he broke his probation, you can call his probation officer and tell…and there is usually only one for a particular area. In fact, that may be another place where you can get some help. Don’t stop talking to people, though, as long as you feel you are in danger. Don’t let the fear consume you, but keep doing things so you know you are still in control of the situation. It sounds like you’re doing a great job so far…
I should have emailed you…sorry…but I’m supposed to be sleeping, and I didn’t think of it til now.
Much Peace and Love…and anything else I can tell ya…GFW
I guess it is teaching in the inner city for so long where violence seems like a fact of life. I write about violence bc i want ppl to know it has consequences that never go away. part of my storytelling is preaching… the unspoken moral is always there…. not all anime is violence based or if it is- it has the consequences that i speak of… but that being said… it’s ok if you never watch anime or even like it…
but your comment made me think about writing about conflict- which is a good thing!
hello friend.
I decided a while ago, I was going to begin every introduction that we were friends. becuase, I find it less awkward and more comfortable for both parties.
I’m micah. nice to meet you
hope you don’t mind that I subscribed.
~me
Pru. …I am gasping for air here
u don’t like the new words…lol
had to see if people were really reading
hmmm u know
I *smile*
I wish all the best with your loved ones — life can be difficult no? especially in January.
thanks for reading my stories…I think you are my only reader on xanga left.
i don’t know how to get more people reading my site — i’ve tried to connect with people all over xanga, and they haven’t connected back…my sob song only grows louder….
if you know anybody who might enjoy my site…well, that might be asking too much…charity.
all the best, and thanks for enjoying the tales from my strange life…
zackfuller
p.s. go see Finding Neverland for inspiration — if you can make it through it without going into convulsive sobs…like I did in a theater in Santa Fe by myself….the only one in the theater…
I read your comment on Formia, then I read the comments above your’s. I followed your line, you being the wisest of us two by far.
I hope your situation can be resolved soon. I wish I could think of something that might help, and I’ve racked my brains, but to no avail
Stay safe,love Petra