January 3, 2005
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It was incredibly beautiful here today with the kind of crisp, clear, blue sky that I remember on so many New Year’s days. It was a day late so I celebrated today.
I met my youngest at the coffee shop by her dad’s. I used to go there every morning so it’s almost more comfortable sitting there with her than here, at home. When we’re in restaurants she tends to talk more about her life. When we’re at home, she usually watches TV. While she went to the movies with her dad, I went to the woods where I used to walk every day. I was just a little ways down the trail when I started feeling uneasy. I didn’t have my dogs with me and I found myself feeling unsafe. I have walked that trail in pitch dark and been comfortable, but now I am nervous and Doug’s responsible.
That pissed me off, as I turned around and went back to my car. But once I’d relocated, down by the river in my new neighborhood, I thought maybe this whole thing was a good eye-opener. I have been used to leaving my house unlocked, my car windows down with my purse inside. It’s high time I start being more careful.
I’ve decided to go talk to Doug’s mother when they get home. I’m going to tell her what happened and how it made me feel; that I have three girls coming in and out of here and that if I ever see him over here again I will get a restraining order. In a nice way, of course. But first I need to get his last name. It’ll piss him off but I want him to know I mean business. Is there a less confrontational way of accomplishing that, that any of you can think of?
Comments (5)
I think finally you have got it…he sounds like a creepy coward anyways so do not worry about how he would feel .These times we live in now one can never feel too safe.
Sounds like you shared a most relaxing time with your daughter and this is good.
Take care and stay safe…
dorothea
it wasn’t courage… i’m not sure what it was… pure righteous belief that it was the right thing to do, maybe? *shrug* courage is harder for me…. courage isn’t something i have much of….
be safe, dear friend…. be safe!
Kudos to calling and standing up. Sometimes confrontation needs to be bold. Be honest, stay calm. And don’t let him win. Sounds like you’re doing better than you might realize:)
I feel hesitant to give an opinion without actually knowing this person firsthand. When you say he lives with his mother, I’m wondering how young he is. He hasn’t actually done anything yet except cause you to feel scared by coming in your house and making inappropriate remarks. My gut feeling if I was in this situation would be to make myself invisible to him – make it impossible for him to see into your house and avoid making conversation with him outside if you run into him.
I have a kind of similar situation where I live. When I moved here 10 years ago I found out that I have a neighbor across the street who apparently is somewhat paranoid schizophrenic. He functions well enough when he’s on his medication that he runs a gardening business and even employs a few guys to help him. But right after I moved in, he went off the meds and started behaving strangely toward my neighbor, who was then recently widowed and about 65 or so years old at the time. He would sit in his truck across the street and stare at her house and rev the engine. It made her very upset when it went on for a few weeks. Finally, she called a neighborhood association that sent someone to talk to him and his wife – who is a nurse. After that, he went back on his medication and I don’t think he’s ever acted out like that again. Anyway, at the time that was all it took that I just made myself invisible. I don’t make conversation with him and I certainly don’t have him do yardwork for me – like my neighbor still does. But I also don’t want to create a situation where I stir up drama between me and him.
Like I say, I’m hesitant to advise. Do you have any other neighbors who can be supportive to you and who know who he is?
IRT: Lionne
The people on the other side of me don’t know anything about him. So that’s good. He and the guy who lived here were both doctors. You’d think if Doug were going to steal from neighbors, he would have done it by now. The people who live on the other side of Doug’s parents, he’s a doctor, too. They came by with a giftbasket on Christmas, and I could easily go by and thank them, ask a few questions. I don’t want it getting back to his mom though that I am spreading gossip, because I see them out walking together sometimes.