November 27, 2004
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Wow, the holidays give blogging a whole new — what’s the word? — meaning’s not it.
This was the first year my ex-husband had his girlfriend and her kids join them for Thanksgiving. And I thought I was fine with that. I’m pretty sure I’m fine with it. I was a little put off by my kids deciding it was too far to drive Thursday, and that surely I wouldn’t want to pay for a cab(as they would have been drinking). Last year they came over for pie. He has his dinner at 5:00 and so do I. My sister was sitting here at the time and between my daughter and her, they decided I should do Thanksgiving on Friday. Later I realized that she had another dinner invitation.
I used to do this full-on dinner for 18. The rental company would arrive with the tables and chairs, glasses and dishes and it would look just like a restaurant. My artsy daughter would do the centerpieces and I’d cook for two days. We did this for both sides of our family for 20 years. So then when I left they couldn’t possibly leave him because he was so devastated. Fine. But after a couple years I and my family suggested that it might be nice to at least come for dessert. My best friend M, volunteered to drive over and get them. She just wanted to get in the house and have a look at H.
So when I read the last post I saw a little bitterness. Friday is not Thanksgiving. Granted I had a nice time with everyone tonight but if I can’t be with my kids, why am I going to all this trouble. I’m still conflicted. I think next year I am going to do something marvelous. Maybe I’ll go XCskiing.
Comments (6)
new rituals for a new life…. it works!
glad to hear your dialogue is working better- fun isn’t it, when what you see in your head, shows up on paper!
It sounds amazing – what you gave your family for 20 years – and how it is now, gee, it does suck a little. Sharing our kids with our exs, always difficult for everyone, esp the kids. No easy solutions – yeah, take off next year and have a blast. You deserve it. xo
Yeah, what the hell! Tell them to alternate years or something…sheesh! Thanksgiving on Friday…*shaking head*
Peace and Love…GFW
Holidays sure bring all that family stuff right to the surface, don’t they? My two adult children had a falling out last Thanksgiving and one of them has still not forgiven the other, so we couldn’t all be together this year. I went to the home of my son and his girlfriend and his kids and it was okay, not technicolor exactly, but okay. My daughter and her boyfriend I’ve not met yet after almost a year together because they live in Hood River area and because she has conflicting feelings about him, etc. went to his family for the holiday. I’m so glad it’s over again for this year. Now we just have to gird ourselves up for Xmas.
sounds to me u are just human…i read ur last post..not really bitter…just
wanting to keep some things special for u and yours is all…
but what do I know…lol
Skiing is an excellent idea. Or lying on some tropical beach (mine?) Fuck the turkey.