February 10, 2009
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A long time ago I went to a psychic. I had just left my husband, only to find out I had cancer again. I’d been to her before and everything she’d predicted had come true. I was really at a loss for which direction to turn. I didn’t know what kind of settlement to expect so I didn’t know where I could afford to live. I didn’t know if the cancer had metastasized so I didn’t know how long I had to live. I thought maybe she could shed some light on my future.
I’m a big notetaker. I probably had my notebook with me. There were notes from dance class. There were notes from my doctor. There were probably notes from the last Taoist retreat and whatever trip I’d taken. When I asked if I were going to be doing something with bellydance she actually threw her head back and laughed at the idea. I’d probably come from court reporting, and she had no idea I danced.
What she said, and this is a vague recollection, was that I was going to be involved with women and religion. I saw her one more time after that, and I remember she thought I should write a workbook for breast cancer patients. She said I should leave the right side blank for them to write in. I saw this very thing in our library about a year later, and they’d done a better job than I would have.
Then she told me about this program where you talk to people who are in need. It was in conjunction with some church. You went through a two-year program, and she set up a meeting with the woman who was in charge of the training. I think she was a nun. Anyway, this woman didn’t think it would mix with court reporting and the work wouldn’t pay enough that I could not do the court reporting. Basically, I don’t think she thought I was cut out for it.
The psychic was pissed about it because she was in the process of completing her masters at Marylhurst, a Catholic college, and I’m sure she’d had just about enough of them and their biases against her line of work.
I figure the volunteer work I do is the part about women, but I am beginning to wonder about the religion. I’ve always had a burning desire to know about people’s religions. Like the other night at the party with all the ways you can be Jewish. And it’s really starting to bother me that I don’t have a church that fits.
My sister was telling me about the Catholic church today, and I liked the part about the angels and Mary and the departed; that it’s not just about God and Jesus.
Comments (8)
i’m wondering if you should look at writing a book about women and religion and how it has impacted modern society’s view of women!
All religions are insufficient and fallible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a spiritual community that fits you. But I think I’m preaching to the choir here.
my faith drives the bus. i also happen to be catholic. while the two are joined, my faith is larger than the church. it’s where i belong. it’s home.
and i have often wondered about psychic predictions. do you think her predictions had any bearing on how you proceeded after hearing them? or did you continue with your life and then when something happened that she had predicted, you realized it. i could so see me being swayed by the psychic, that’s why i’ll never go.
My learning that I had cancer was odd. I am not sure I ever told you the story…maybe I did. After a suspiciously high PSA test, I had a biopsy and then waited for the results. The first report from the doctor was not entirely reliable. He could only tell me that the results were not negative. An additional analysis had to be performed. It would take an additional week to get back the confirmed results. I went to Calgary for meetings with the intent of going backpacking near Banff after the meetings. While in Calgary I received a phone call from the doctor’s office during a presentation on some facet of recovering oil from sticky shale. I went out into the parking lot and took the call amidst the smokers who stood about filling their lungs with tar and nicotine. The doctor wanted me to come to his office to talk with him. I had to press him hard to simply tell me the news over the phone. He did. I returned to my meeting, finished it, got into the car and drove directly to one of my favorite trail heads just inside Banff National Park not far from Canmore. I hiked and considered how good my life had been. By the time I returned to the car a few days later I was more aware than ever of how good my life could become.
Playing Devil’s advocate here… A friend of mine who was raised Catholic, told me that she believes the reverence and centrality of Mary in the Catholic church was a result of the Christianization of the Pagan (not the generic ‘pagan’) religion which celebrates the goddess. I don’t know more. For her, it meant going to the original Pagan religion. Personally, I believe that God is neither male nor female, but both (and as such, more). I believe this because both man and woman were made in his image. It is society that deterimes whether God is Mother or Father, God or Goddess. I have problems with the (almost?) deification of Mary, though I have no more problem thinking of God as a Goddess than I do thinking of him as the Father.
As for fortune tellers… I have no doubt that some people can see some of the future, but I tend to question Fortune Tellers. They are very observant and pick up on your responses and reactions and I’m sure some of it is an influence on behavior. The reaction to your asking about belly dancing seems to substantiate that. I’m sure there are some genuinely honest fortune tellers, but I still doubt that that gift works that regularly for them or with every client who walks in their door.
thank you
johnny
What kind of soup do you make best?
Having been raised Catholic, then leaving the church at 15 I can only say that for me it’s not about a building or a place to go “get” my spiritual contact, but more about living day to day being the best person I can be…marilyn