January 23, 2009

• Today I went to a long luncheon, all the way in Hillsboro.  I left Derek with the dog and instead of painting the kitchen ceiling he said he did some trading and took a nap.  When I got home the dog was running around in the front yard, which is not fenced.  He used to go out there to smoke cigarettes and I’d let her go, too, because I knew he’d keep an eye on her. Well, on New Year’s he quit smoking so now she goes out by herself.  He trained her to come back when he calls so I was sort of okay with it.  I’ve done it myself in the night or early morning when it’s dark and the neighbors can’t see her. 

  Anyway, I went upstairs to get my overhaulls on and some sturdy hiking boots, gloves and protective glasses, because I wanted to play with my new chainsaw.  I lost a good portion of my favorite tree in the snow storm.  It’s right by the road and people were having to dodge the limb that fell almost into the street.  Someone strong moved it further back in the yard but it wasn’t Derek.  Maybe it was my brother. 

  Derek ignored it and was against the idea of a chainsaw so I bought it when he wasn’t with me.  We went over the manual together and he came out to watch the first cut but he wanted no part of it.  He went back inside and watched the rest of his movie.  I would have thought he’d be all over that.

  The dog was still outside while I was working.  I caught her going across the street so I yelled at her to “get over here.”  I went back to cutting the log when I noticed she was still sitting and staying, something Derek must have taught her.  I told her it was okay but then I caught her sneaking over to the neighbor’s so when she came back I made her sit and stay until I was done which was only about five more minutes.  Still, it was something I never thought she could do.

  Derek seemed upset when I got home.  He was doing the dishes, something he does when he’s tense. He said it was because he fell asleep and didn’t get a stop-loss set up on his T-bond trade before the market closed.  After I came in from the front yard he cooked dinner while I had a glass of wine and watched.  I played the CD he brought over the first night we had dinner together but the mood was markedly different tonight.

  He got ready to go work out and I settled in with a magazine and the dog on my lap.  I sprawl out in my recliner with a quilt so she doesn’t get those little white hairs all over me.  When he walked by us to get his computer off the coffee table she started shaking.  It wasn’t until I got up to get the phone that I realized she’d peed on me.  I don’t know what he does to her when I’m gone that she’s so scared of him.  He makes a big production of getting her to roll over and heel and trains her using treats.  But, usually, she doesn’t want to come to him.  She hovers by me and quivers. 

  I think he uses these jaunts out in the front yard as leverage because the treats are running out and he knows I won’t buy more.  He says he doesn’t act any different around her when I’m gone but I’m not so sure. 

  • 11:16 pm
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