August 25, 2008
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I’ve always suspected I had mental problems and lately they are surfacing. There is a new car in my driveway, new to me, anyway, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. My brother came to look at it; he asked to go for a ride. What he meant was he wanted to drive it. I said, “No.” I didn’t want him racing around in it. He acted like I was crazy, saying “I don’t want to get a ticket or anything.”
So we went for a ride and he drove. He insinuated I’d paid too much. He acted like it was too nice of a car for me. And all he could say about the way it drove was that it seemed “rough.” I asked what that meant and he said when we went over the speed bump it landed with a thud.
I think he must be jealous. But that’s not what I’m concerned about. I want to know why I’m not more excited. Why am I not standing in the dining room looking at it? Even though I know the woman I bought it from — Remember the woman who hosts the recorder playing every Mon? — I still feel nervous about it. It must have to do with the fact that Saabs are expensive to maintain. But this car has had no problems and it only has 62,000 miles on it. It’s a 2001 and I paid $9,000 for it. It will last me a very long time so I don’t mind the fact that I have to put the good kind of gas in it and the synthetic oil. So what’s my problem?
I think it has to do with my brother’s basic reaction, and that is that it’s a nice car. I act like I don’t know what he’s talking about; that it’s a station wagon. We grew up in a family that drove station wagons. There were four of us kids so my mother drove whatever station wagon my dad was done with. My dad owned a lumber yard and half the time I rode to flute lessons in the delivery truck. They spent money on the country club (both were big golfers), music lessons and clothes but acted like the neighbor’s Tbird was nouveau riche.
I certainly wouldn’t have picked a Saab, though I think they are cool cars, and when she said her husband was selling his car I got very excited because I had remembered pulling up behind him once, admiring it, though I couldn’t remember what it was. There are VERY few cars I admire. But mostly I bought it because my dog crate fit in the back. All the records were in the glove box and I see these people every Monday. What could be better? I just can’t figure out what’s wrong with me that I’m not thrilled.
Comments (8)
Congratulations of buying a new car. I may not be excited either. I learned to let go the yearning of material for a while already. I am content with a car that runs well.
Yes, I still read your blog.
Eh, ignore your killjoy brother! So what if it’s a nice car? You didn’t pay too much for it, but even if you did, so what? Don’t you deserve to buy a cool car and pay too much for it if you want to?? My mother does this kind of thing all the time, and yes, it stems from jealousy. When she comes to my brand new house she can’t do anything but criticize. Like, if I say, “I really love my kitchen backsplash,” she’ll say, “well, I’m glad you like it.” Or she’ll say, “why did you choose THIS color for this room?” Or, “I’m sure over time you won’t even notice the way those blinds don’t quite match at the top.”
Well you chose it for practical purposes so that may be cause for the lack of excitement. But perhaps as you drive it more and discover the nuances excitement will build. Or maybe it is the start of a good long friendship. They seldom get off with huge bangs but more build into a deep appreciation.
Saab’s are sweet rides. Here’s to a long uneventful lifespan for the wagon!
so long as you didn’t ask your brother to pay for your car, why should it matter what he thinks? congrats anyway…good for you! Don’t let him rain on your parade!
hugs,
sage
don’t worry. you are worth it. now, please enjoy it. after all it is not only wonderful but useful. win win baby!
I know what you mean. Getting something new, even if it’s something I have really wanted for a long time, doesn’t thrill me like it did when I was younger. Sort of a vague satisfaction is about all I can usually muster. Maybe it’s just maturity.
Your brother is definitely jealous, and that is sad. It really bothers me when people are jealous of me, and I go to great lengths to try to prevent it, but it still happens.
ryc: Growing orchids is an obsessive hobby for many people. There is a ton of stuff to read about (I subscribe to 3 magazines about orchids and buy many books on orchids) and talk about. It’s all about learning more, being a better grower, and it is all so interesting! I know I’ve gone off the deep end, but I’m having fun!
The increasing price of gas probably would not incline one towards exuberance over purchasing a beautiful but older car. Maybe that’s it. You might have done more jumping for a hybrid. Though Saab, Pru! I can see you in a Saab. It’s perfect for you. Like rare old wine, perfectly stored, a vintage year it’s an amazing find and deal. Never mind your brother, cars have strange effects on men. Your joy in driving your car year after year will more than make up for not whooping it up on the purchase – though you could still do that!
Xanga’s weird. If I don’t sign into the site – I’m not sure how regularly either, haven’t figured that one out- it stops sending me my email digest of subscriptions. Which really is an unfair way to make me check in because I have to open my sub list and look to see if the few I read are listed properly before Xanga will re-start my ‘automatic’ subs again.
Of course, all along the way I have to view ads and so on, but they come in the email too, so I don’t know what the big deal is.
Sometimes I miss the old Xanga, it was an easier site that facilitated connections between writers and didn’t insert the ad platform into everything. Though I guess the Xanga directors have to reap dividends too.
Anyway, thanks for dropping by, despite Xanga’s shenanigans we manage to keep in touch.
xo
What matters is whether you like the car or not. Enjoy it.
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