September 28, 2007
-
Is it normal to still be thinking about your ex, after being divorced six years? I don’t think about him in a good way but instead of thanking God that I am free I am beginning to feel something close to compassion when I see his picture at my daughter’s. The oldest had the pictures from the 4th of July on her computer and I was shocked at the appearance of his new bride. She looks nothing like I remember. Then I was over there today and she had a new picture on her table, taken at their wedding on the beach. They finally had a party at the house last weekend since nobody had been invited to the wedding so I heard from all three girls about how our old friends were doing. I thought it was odd that only the middle daughter was asked about me. The oldest and youngest reported no such inquiries. I never cared much for his friends anyway.
Today I went to Office Max and bought a very large calendar for 2007 and 2008. In addition, I got some colored markers and some stickers. Even the new ballpoint pens match. My thinking was that when I figure out what the Flylady has in mind for each day of the week I will give it a color. Tomorrow is errands and I made that green for go.
I can’t quite get into the thing where I am supposed to lay my clothes out the night before. I don’t even like to get a shower until after the market closes. And until my hair’s dry I don’t have any idea what I’m wearing. But I’m not adverse to thinking ahead. Tomorrow I’m having lunch with my ex-mother-in-law. I think the last time we went anywhere together was 1996. I’m not sure what brought this on but I’m looking forward to finding out.
Comments (12)
I subscribed to those emails for a bit but they drove me wild. I do most of them without thinking but the others drove me bananas! If I didn’t get so much other email, I think I might have kept them coming. That said, I think it would be cool to create a similar thing for those of an entrepreneurial bend. Something to prod you each day in the direction you should be moving. And by “you” I mean “one” of course.
I found out the other day that my ex remarried. I had pangs of thinking of him all that day and the next. I mean I was happy for him, that he finally moved on. Thoughts of how a man can move that ship along if he so desires. Then I got over it.
Yay for being good enough at belly dancing to teach! And you make flylady sound more and more intriguing. I’m too cheap to get new shoes right now, so I can’t justify it just yet. Thinking about your ex… well, how long were you married? It’s not like he’s no longer a part of your life. The thinking you seem to be doing sounds healthy enough to me. Enjoy your weekend!
You’re a bit like me in regards to wondering why none of the friends asked about you. Actually for me it was the same..they were his friends and the only two that counted to me are still my friends as well. I still think about my ex..the last one quite alot but the kids’ dad..never unless they tell me that he called which is like 2 or 3 times a year.
marilyn
It is nice that you have room for forgiveness.
Good luck with your lunch date… sounds like it will be interesting.
dan
i don’t know, but i think that something happens between you two that keeps you tied for a long long time. good luck w/the flylady. that kind of thing drives me insane. i know what i need to do, i just need to have the energy and the time to do it!
I sometimes think about my long ago ex-we were just kids. But our son is a constant reminder and since the GS his Dad has been more attentive. I see him with the wife as they go off visiting historic places and know he wouldn’t be doing that with me. I do not sightsee well.
I don’t know after six years but since you share children i think he’ll always come up here and there. That flylady had me on to so many things that I had too much time to think myself and I did not like that. So I left some messes this weekend. I need something to clean.
Hey im Tom, like the way you write. Come visit us and hear our music and get some ringtones. Xanga supported.
ydurp,
I learned long ago that just because you cannot necessarily have a relationship with someone who you were once close to, that doesn’t meant that your feelings towards him/her will simply go away. It is o.k. to have feelings towards an ex. That doesn’t mean you have to necessarily get back together or even that it would necessarily work out. They are just part of you and part of your past and be glad that you have those feelings within you.
At one time I thought that my first love was the only one that I could ever have the full emotional bond. I thought it was something about THAT person rather than me discovering those feelings within me and sharing them with her. Other people can facilitate your ability to draw out the full range of emotions. But they are yours to keep and cherish.
Good luck with all of the people in your life. Belly-dancer and investor! What a combo! They don’t make women like that anymore. Take care and drop by sometime when you get a chance. My blog is very quiet without you
.
Bob
*knock-knock*
oh yoo-hoo!
anybody home?
Prudy? Prooooodeeeeeeee!
hello! Come out come out wherever you are!