May 15, 2006
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I assured my oldest yesterday that I wouldn’t have parked my car in that neighborhood unless I was right out front. She asked what had changed that I was more careful (She grew up hearing what an idiot I was for going to bellydance clubs late at night). I said now that I had a bum knee I knew I couldn’t outrun them. Not that I could have before but now I feel like I can barely get around. A bad knee changes your whole self-image. Even after all that surgery and chemo I still was in pretty good shape. The effects of chemo take a long time to wear off and I think permanently alter your stamina. But a bad knee just puts you in slow-mo.
It’s been a good thing, though. On stage, dancers tend to use the right hip with the left arm up while the right arm and hand gesture. The left knee supports all this. No more. I have been forced to switch sides. Thank God I had good teachers who, in class, made me repeat everything on the left side. But when I go to use my left hand to accent, it feels foreign. When I try to do all the same tricks with my left hip, my balance is off. This is why it’s not so bad to be in the middle of nowhere at a biker bar, practicing.
The reason I’m stalking the sax player is that I have this problem where I can’t dance to music unless I’m feelin’ it. This man plays music I relate to. The minute he steps up to the mic I’m on automatic pilot; my body knows what to do. Moving in unision, knowing where he’s going, it’s a heady high and I want more of it.
Comments (19)
He’s ready to play too I bet. Every musician I know (strangely, I know plenty) is excited and gratified when their music brings people to dance and move. Before long you will be well practiced and are already appreciated. It is clear that even with stamina altered and a bum knee that you are more lively in the moment than some teenagers I know! It’s a bit ironic isn’t it that now, when you are finding a new groove, that your body is in a new place as well, as if you are nascent again, but thank the powers that be, you still have the wealth within your mind to apply to the dancing and the nights and the music. It will never be said that your youth is wasted on you. My god, I’m bearing witness to a being who actually gives it its due!
I understand autopilot…it happens alot…to music too. LOL
I am having a knee issue right now, and hate the helpless feeling…it buckles and give sout on me whenever it decides that people need a good giggle at me falling on my face. Doctor says MRI looks norm…what do they know anyway?
Have a good mOnday.
Boo says it well.and i agree…I understand about having a body that requires me to adapt…but like you adapt and not do are two very different things….ryc currently I have three of my four at home..Ben from college… he will be working and saving…Britta whose is fourteen and my Joe….Ben heads back in August….
Hope your knee is better my daughter had a year after knee surgery getting well and she is young. Go girl after the sax player, Judi
I love these posts, am more than glad that you’re dancing, I can feel the rhythm and movement through them all the way over here, and trust that your intuition will keep you out of trouble (not too much though, eh). Maybe that knee will heal with the dancing… knees have a funny way of insisting they’re bunged for life and then getting better, easier, less painful. Sometimes just learning how to walk on it a different way lessens the inflamation. I had a pulled muscle in my leg and it would just heal enough so I could go dancing the next week, when I’d wreck it all over again. I learnt to dance with my feet firmly planted on the floor, only moving the upper body. Frustrating, for sure, but I started working with heart energies and it was an amazing experience in the end. This went on for a couple of months, but it eventually did get better and I could jump and run again. Good learning though. Hopefully that happens to your knee… xo
stalking the sax player…now how many of us will ever get to use that phrase? you are my hero.
This man plays music I relate to. The minute he steps up to the mic I’m on automatic pilot; my body knows what to do. Moving in unision, knowing where he’s going, it’s a heady high and I want more of it.
This is the way I feel about having a man in my life… but it can be a pen, a paintbursh, a set of drums or a sax, moving in unision, knowing where he’s going…ahhhhhhh!
I can relate to the bum knee…when I lost my eyesight…it altered everything about my self image and the image I had of the world and my place in it. But it has been a good thing; I was in need of a good alteration, and I got it.
for me, I do dance with abandon and I would call it autopilot..but with third person perspective, and my wife’s fear that I will be seen..it seems my dancing is more of “spastic dork”. I honestly love dancing, I do not feel that I do it well, but when I do it..there is no shame..fortunately, I might also be helping many people because I have given them something to laugh at…healing their “souls”…i just got some metal picks..I actually want to strum my ole guitar..it used to be a fever..and I can play rightly well..but it has been over 13 years since I really played..this post is just uplifting..a kind of “get up and move!” groove for me….
jm
I would lend you my knee for dancing if I could. I’m not a dancer though so I’m not sure my knee would know what to do lol.
ryc: if you have any input or advice, I’m all ears. I’m young and clueless… but on a mission at the same time. I just don’t know what to aim at.
Stalking the sax player….ummm..are you ready to catch him?? marilyn
sax players are… saxy. (couldn’t resist.)
i love this piece- so full of hope and possibilities…
The only thing you have to do is spell it “saxophone,” not “saxaphone,” and the magic will be complete.
RYC We barely have a winter
ryc: not really, but it’s part of doing business here- an expensive part too!
I love it. The stalking, the intricate description of the movements of your body. I’d like to get my hands on this sax player for you and chain him to the wall of your home with his sax and a little bit of booze on hand.
ryc: bc i don’t have the financial resources to even begin a project like that… as it is, i’m looking at having to go back to work full-time and go back to writing nights. but the fun part was actually solving the problem!
and i did it in a way that i’m happy with… so if i ever sell a book and begin to build some capital… then, stuff like that might happen. for now, it’s just a dream…
RYLC It is a fact that when well matched animals and humans can feel strong kinship,,,as in your case….:) I must admit though at my house I am alpha all the way…our dog is doing considerably better on oral predinzone….
sounds good…keep the rhythm girl!