April 9, 2006
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What a productive day. Rabookie got me all fired up about the piles on my desk and I’m no longer surrounded by clutter. It’s over in seperate piles on the kitchen counter. But that’s a huge accomplishment. I threw away all the 3×5 cards with phone numbers I didn’t need anymore and notes I’d transferred to the computer and then I made individual stacks: stocks, research for the hospital, notes for the book, internet writing, and household stuff. I’ll take that up tomorrow and file it. I don’t know why I let that pile up so long. I even wenth through the newspapers I’d saved and clipped out the recipes I wanted.
Going through three months worth of “important stuff” — that’s what I tell my kids when they chide me about my desk — I coveted each piece of information. The Journey Through Grief Class produced wonderful notes that will serve me a lifetime. I found quotes that I put on my refrigerator and the brochure for that darling little girl who gave the lecture on aromatherapy. I left a message on her machine saying I wanted to bring in some perfume and see if she could match it. I wear perfume every day and when I was married I didn’t think twice about buying it but now it seems extravagant.
All these gems I came across, the fruits of my labor and the teachings of speakers at the herb shop or the hospital. I read them all and felt rich. Kind of like how I used to feel about the towels.
While I was putting things in piles I was talking to an old friend. He’s someone I used to play cards with when he was in between girlfriends. I used to love going over to his friend’s house. We’d all cook together and then drink wine and play this game I can never remember how to say. It was something about sitting on the cards. I surprised myself by not calling him back in time to get together this evening like he suggested. I wanted to go through my treasures.
His wife died of breast cancer so when I first met him he said he couldn’t risk going through that again. I said fine, thinking he wasn’t really my type anyway and we ended up becoming buddies. After a couple years, when it looked like I might live
he would sometimes get overly friendly. I ignored it but it was kind of fun. Tonight I realized how much happier I am now, more content. He couldn’t believe I wasn’t dating. I was holding up a poem that I’ve posted here before, about living in the present. We said good-bye and I read this excerpt:
Peace is all around us, in the world and in nature and within us; in our bodies and our spirits.
Once we learn to touch this peace, we will be healed and transformed. It is not a matter of faith, it is a matter of practice — Thich Nhat Hanh
I read this today and realized how much further along the path I am from when I first read it.
Comments (5)
It feels really good to get organized and it saves so much time hunting for things. I love it when I get my desk all cleaned up. Judi
I know that feeling..that recognition ,something akin to realizing you have gone from awkward to fluent in the use of a given skill….progress is good:)
thats lovely…and so very true.
I hate clutter, I have some within the scope of my decor, but I clean out things often…spring cleaning happens much more than just the spring…
I havent worn perfume since I was in high school…ive no idea what I would do now
Well, you just inspired me to run to my room and spray myself with something good. It is a luxury and to do it just for myself make it more so. So thank you. I like how you started with decluttering and then ended with a realization that you have been doing that all along inside. It is wonderful to realize when we are further than we thought. Why does that make me want to cry? Maybe because it takes so much work to get there and the pat on the back from ourselves is the hardest one to acquire sometimes. I don’t know, but it makes me keep working things out. By the way, this sounds trite, but you rock. You really do Pru.
Have a wonderful Easter, Judi