April 1, 2006
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Edited to add: More odd laughing.
I was at the river, thinking about nothing I can remember, when I suddenly started chuckling. Not in response to anything in particular, and as there was a couple coming my way and my dog was nowhere in sight, I thought this seemed more bizarre than talking to one’s self. You know when it’s inappropriate to laugh and you need to stop, how you can’t? Well, it wasn’t like that because I didn’t really give a shit what they might have thought. Well, I must because I took a quick detour off the path to look down at the water. By then I was doubled up laughing at I had no idea what. This has NEVER happened to me but it had momentum that seemed like a burp; it just came up out of nowhere. When I finally regained my composure I looked down and there was a cormorant perched on a steel rod, protruding from the riverbank. A sudden burst of sun shone on the back of my knees and the whole scene brought back memories of the many afternoons spent on my lot next to the heron rookery, only this time I didn’t miss it.
Something remarkable happened this morning. I woke up, went in to brush my teeth, and when I grabbed a towel something had shifted. Six years ago, after I left, my lawyer told me to go get what I would normally buy and furnish a new household. I had no idea how much money I’d end up with and when I went to buy towels — three girls go through a lot of towels — I bought some average-priced towels but I also bought six luxurious towels. And I thought to myself these would have to last me a lifetime. It’s not that I use the patterned ones any less regularly than the others, those solid colored blue or purple towels, most of which are tired and bleached or at my daughter’s houses, but when I use them I am conscious of shortening their life span. I’m like this about all my expensive linens or clothes or shoes. I lived, so long, with anything I wanted that now that those items can’t be replaced I am careful to make them last.
But I let go of that feeling this morning. I could have taken that towel and put it in Bridget’s crate, the one in the car that gets filthy. And I started laughing. I’m not one of those people who is easily amused so going down the steps I surprised myself, laughing at the ease of a life without stuff. I don’t know how I got there, maybe it was reading about no silverware.
Comments (19)
Is this an April Fool joke or something? Life without stuff?
I don’t quite get this. A shift in your thinking took place and you were able to go buy towels or you thought you didn’t need them. Judi
isn’t it amazing when those things happen and all of sudden you realize you are different than you were when you went to bed- for whatever the reason. i can’t explain it, but it’s awesome!
Wow. Now that’s an aha moment and a big release all in one! It’s wonderful to just let go, isn’t it?
I am hearing more and more about people being aware of these kinds of shifts. I had one of major proportions last week. And you are right, who the hell knows how it comes about. And I don’t care. All I care about is that it did.
I love life-shifts. It is like getting the kinks out of our psyche, freeing us up. Thanks for sharing..I love the burps of laughter!
Thank you for the compliment about my pieces…those two are several years old. I use everything and anything when I sculpt, paint etc. But these two figures The Mutaba are cloth wire paint and fibers. Thanks again for your kind words and support.
Release. You’ve let something go. You laughed it out. Beautiful.
Whoa Nelllly, this is fantastic Pru, you made it, up the steep mountain and down the slope of releasing worldly goods. It’s such a free spirit moment when these shifts are recognized. I’m glad you shared this, not many people understand just how wonderful it feels to “Let Go”. marilyn
I just have to smile at you. The little realizations or moments of happy.
I’m not knowing why I don’t read you from my sub list. So, here I am, reading several days worth. You’re well adjusted. You’re friend needs to see the four fingers pointing back at her.
The flowers in the profile pic? They are Gay Feathers and grow from bulbs. Very forgiving and fun.
It is wonderful to know that you don’t need things to make you happy.
ok…you’re still there…just missed ya!
I think that is a Taoist lesson or maybe it’s Buddhist- to see all material things as already broken (or destroyed) is to accept what you can’t control…
RYC: did that mean, you liked it?! ;-P
RYC: I would love to be the equivalent of a deacon or something at your church – someone to be there with you and take part. You amaze and flatter me and inspire and challenge me. Sincerely.
On cackles the spring storm, without and within.
RYC: Fl_boi, really said it well didn’t he? He had emailed me personally thinking he would hurt my feelings, I asked him to kindly post it, which he did. Plus the other person that talks about Front lobal dementia, I think that resounds in me..I talked to Michelle and she talked to Carl, we are not going to go back to doing what we did once Kathy is gone, we are placing her somewhere…hang on to your shorts is all I can think of, She’ll be stomping those feet BIG time….marilyn
I am the same way. I buy jeans (not fancy pants, but jeans!) that are slightly more expensive and fit really well and then I save them for “special” occassions. There’s some balance to be achieved. You should savor special things. And yet, those special things ought to last longer! And I think we should be able to have “special things” in our lives everyday.
I loved this post..spontaneous giggling! wonder-full!
First, I was thinking about the previous post and wondering how I could ever tell you something about yourself that you could use at all. I don’t think I can do that. The only thing I saw on your list that I didn’t quite understand was “unrealistic” because you are very reasonable to me. That being said, about this post, those shifts are spectacular. I wonder if it was that shift that was coming that was making you laugh while at the river. The two are so connected in this. Taking that seriousness out of the towels and the long lasting good stuff it just mixes perfectly. There is something freeing about not giving a shit about those things that cause even tiny moments of care when they are not really needed. It is certainly better than shifting the other way from not being able to have anything and not caring much to having the means and distorting the focus. Your shift was amazing and you have that wisdom to know the value of it.
i think its lovely….
the ability to let go is sooo freeing…i fully admit, i like my stuff, but at the same time…i spring clean often and i’m not really bothered by most of it