March 16, 2006
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Has anyone had to buy a new furnace lately? Mine was 50 years old, according to the guy who tried to fix it today. First it was going to be $4,000 for a new Lennox, the only kind they install. But by the end of the visit it had gone up $1,000, the difference being 90% efficiency vs 80%. I want to research it but it’s pretty darn cold around here so time is of the essence. I’m clear on wanting to vent in fresh air from outside vs the air in my basement. It’s cobwebby and creepy and linty down there.
I got my taxes done on time. Every year it gets to be less of a big deal. It’s not like I’m doing them, I’m just getting them ready. But with all the stock stuff and every year I’ve got some real estate thing. And next year I want to start a business.
Today’s my six-year anniversary of leaving my husband. I’m feeling very proud of myself today. I’ve done well in the market this week, in spite of some scary madness with speculative stocks. Bob saw my new trend and sagely suggested a site which gives you $2,000,000 in play money and your own mutual fund.
It’s Wednesday so I went to the Herb Shoppe for the lecture. This week it was all about the thyroid. Fascinating stuff. You have no idea how pervasive hypo- and hyperthyroid problems are. At least I didn’t. That it had any connection to the stomach came as a complete surprise. And that any sort of grieving could impair thyroid function was hard to believe. But it all made sense in the end.
I discovered my hair was long enough to stay up in a ponytail. That’s how I wore it today and I feel so girlish. The other girlish thing I discovered is that I might still want a man. In fact I’m pretty sure I do. I read drunkpunches ’ wish list, someone had tagged him for that qualities-you-want-in-a-lover thing. And it gave me hope. So I went to bed thinking about a man I could love, not so much the specifics but just the idea of a male human being whom I could love.
I started thinking about the possibility of a guy who liked stocks or a guy who liked to cook or a guy who liked to hunt — I’ve never been hunting but unless he hunted he might not appreciate my dog. I have enough interests that are androgynous like music or travel or hiking and rafting. What if I found a guy who liked medicine, I mean like naturopathic? Geez, what if I found a writer? And then I realized I was with a man I found fascinating, for 30 years, and he didn’t have one of those interests. His interests were reading, drinking and smoking pot, in that order. Actually sex would precede that list. So, you know, if the chemistry were good, with a shared sense of humor and similar aesthetics I believe there’s any number of combinations that can be magic. I don’t know why I’ve been so fatalistic about it. It drives me crazy when I hear men and women say there are no good one’s out there. Baloney. Look at all the good people on Xanga.
Comments (15)
good people are indeed out there…waiting to be found and to find you, when least expected…
my best friends over time have come about in such ways…:)
It’s nice to have common interests but not essential; to me it’s the shared values that are crucial. Hot Rod Man and I have different interests and hobbies: I read novels and magazines, he reads engine manuals (for fun); I like horses, he’s afraid of them; I’m a night owl, he’s a morning lark. But we pretty much believe in the same things and accept each other unconditionally….although I wish he loved dancing as much as I do and he wishes I’d spend less time on the computer.
Would love to know what you found out about hypothyroidism. I have a mild form but didn’t know there was a direct connection to the stomach. The effect of grief doesn’t surprise me much, though; like so many physical reactions to psychological stresses, I can see that the thyroid would slow down as if to “shut down” the pain of grieving.
Steve and I love talking philosophy. He has an issue with this stupid computer game, but when that’s not zapping his brain and his gonads, we have amazing chemistry. He’s slightly more a homebody than I am, but we love travelling together, and we have similar senses of humor. We recommend books to each other, and today we’re going to the gym together because he has the day off. Then we’re cooking together and watching a movie. I’m proud of you and wish you the best of luck finding someone with whom to spend some time. Smoking pot is a big turnoff for me. I still think it should be legalized, but smoking is gross. I want to look into making marijuana tea, though – it sounds intriguing. Thyroid problems are common and affect a lot of different areas. Among overweight women, however, there are too many diagnoses of thyroid problems. People will take pills when they should stop eating braunschweiger and start exercising. But that’s just me being disgruntled about one of my grandmothers
I go through my subscription list every day and I always hope there’s a new post from you. 
Delighted to read you today.
My Husband is nothing I ever thought I wanted. We are as different as moon and sun. We came together in a time when I had decided not to worry about a man. I had things to do and see and explore. And then there he was. An here he remains.
Those who say there are no more good ones left are blind.
Oh, and I have an interesting story about grief that I will share with you later…
Oh, that’s a hard one… I was not in a relationship for about 5 years, and did have one connection last year that seemed wonderful but, well, you know the story, and more recently I dated a younger man for 2 months (7 years younger, his choice) and I think it ended a month ago, although there are still emails, though only at a trickle now, so who knows. Right now I’m feeling rather raw, and am not sure I can enter the fray so quickly again… it took 5 months to get past the point of grieving and disappointment between the first and the second guy, so…
I don’t know what it is, it’s different now. Men were different back then, when I was younger. Now we’re all middle-aged and it’s so much more complex…
Sorry, I’m working on reception at a company & I had to post that before it was finished! Of course there are great men out there; with me, no doubt, it’s that I still haven’t worked out enough of my “stuff” to stay clear of those who will cause heartbreak. Is that it? Or is that simply par for the course, whether or not “it lasts”? Oh, it’s all so confusing right now! Way too much for my poor, simple mind. I did do a recording of a cycle of poems for the last guy, which apparently made him cry, and then he ‘thanked’ me for the ‘beautiful reflection’ & I assume he’s with someone else now, anyway, I may post that somewhere or other & will let you know… I’d love feedback, reaction, an idea if I’m creating my realities for the sake of my writing or if I simply attract impermanent things because that’s what I’m most comfortable with. I have friends in their 50s & 60s who won’t ever go near a man again because it brings up all their unresolved “stuff” and they’ve got more important things to do now, like live with love and happiness and freedom. So I don’t know…
If you set your mind to it, you’ll achieve anything Pru, including a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man…
I want you to manage it. To be a beacon to the rest of us…
*hugs xo
I’ve never been into lists. It seems to me that they can be a crutch, a means of ignoring those that don’t match “the list.” But I think that’s only if the list is focused on the wrong things. I know a woman who won’t date a guy if his shoes are “wrong”! She can never get past stuff like that enough to get to know someone intimately (and I mean internal soulful intimacy, not sex).
I like Corbow‘s bit about shared values being more important than shared interests. I like being with someone who does things I don’t do–but that’s because I like to flit, as you said, and it’s so much fun to dive into something new with someone! I loved drunkpunches list. It seems to focus at the right level. Anytime I’ve made a list (typically after breaking off something) it has seemed to be in reaction to the most recent love. “Stability” was on the list after dating a musician. I like being totally open-minded and just SEEING rather than having expectations.
I think the way you are approaching your life right now, the learning, the classes, the coffee and tea shops, the writing, AND the solitude–you’ve got this “taking it all in” attitude and I think a man could be part of what you find somewhere as you’re out there with this “life is full of cool stuff” attitude.
All’s you have to do it put it to the universe that you are ready, but by all means make a mental note of the things you want. My mom said to me when I was divorcing the ex,,well you got your land and garden, a nice house, but you must of forgot to say you wanted him to be loyal,,,he was a cheater.. She was right, that never hit the list, it should of, it did this time…marilyn
I cannot believe they want that much for one. That seems so high to me. ACK
Hello Prudence (I always want to spell it Pru-dance.) Thank for your message! A Kiva is a built, in usually rounded, wood burning fireplace in adobe homes.
I agree with you Prudence there are so many bitter wounded people out there that cannot see the good men out there because they are usually too focused on the bad. (Birds of a feather) No judgment truly; each person is free to choose and go through what they need or want to.
I met wonderful, interesting, delightful, creative, honorable men all the time. I am wise and fearlessly open to loving and being loved…it’s almost at my threshold…I can sense it. >>>>smiling<<<<
Ponytail! I haven’t had hair long enough for one of those in years! When my daughter wears one I always smile, though. I’ll bet you looked great~
You don’t have Jethro Kloss(sp?) *Back to Eden*??? Since i’ve been doing the alt-medicine thang from the early Seventies, i think that’s one of the most important books to have [see the second entry in my REVIEWS section
].
I just don’t know why you don’t come up on my sub list. How is that? So I took a gander and came over! Sandy has blogged from the dark blue ocean somewhere! Anyway, seems you are much more chipper! I like the idea of a longer haired look on your head. Me? The dating scene is still there, buy I’m marginally enjoying it. Sometimes your words are ringing truer and truer about those types. I’m not too concerned. It will happen someday!
Isn’t it odd that when we have so many things going our way, we can be fatalistic about that one are in which we feel we are lacking. I made that list too. And I know there is someone out there to fit it, but still, who knows when opportunity will arise? When it is out of my control, I have trouble believing I can make such things successful.
Home for lunch and trying to catch up! I saw you at the game and sorry that you had to leave so early. But thank you for showing up!
Now, I have to catch up before lunch time is over!