December 13, 2005
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Yes, I got the camera. And I looked pretty good tonight because I went to another party so I went upstairs to the bathroom to take my picture and noticed toothpaste splatters all over the mirror. Shit. So then I went to find the cleaner and after that the counter looked noticeably dingier so I cleaned that. Then the cat showed up thinking she was thirsty.
I was able to take two pictures, neither of which I think I’d be satisfied with, when the camera said full card or something to that effect. I think it’s affect, I can never keep those straight. Anyway, I cursed the youngest for giving it back all used up and went down to the computer to load the pictures.
When she gave me the camera back last night she said she needed to print off the pictures first so we went to Fred Meyers and got them put on a CD. When she was unloading them off the camera she told me not to look. So just now when all her pictures were loading onto my computer I didn’t know what to do. I figured she’d already have gone to bed and they were so small that I thought I could just find the two of myself and open those.
No, it opens the whole shebang and after a while a message came on saying there were too many to open and then it froze. Now I remember why I gave her the camera. I HATE IT. Every time I try to get something onto my computer it’s a nightmare. I’m technically challenged. All I could figure out to do was zip the whole thing and then shut down the computer. Sorry. I’ll try again tomorrow.
Oh, And I talked to the oldest. She called and told me pretty much the same thing the youngest described. Her theory, and I thought this was astute, was that Grandma is taking out her angst on the older ones but really she’s upset with the youngest for not coming over all the time like she used to. Grandma set it up so that the youngest could come over there instead of to my house. We always had a rule that the girls needed to be home by midnight and the youngest was not happy with that rule. She spent the weekends with me so when I moved over here that meant she had to start driving by 11:30 to get all her friends home first. Grandma decided that she was old enough to stay alone at Henry’s house when he was at the beach or over at her house, which was five minutes less of a drive than to my house. She also thought the curfew was unnecessary. Grandma smokes and seems to think it’s great that the girls do.
Henry and his mother talked me into giving up my nights with her so that she could sleep in her own bed or at her Grandma’s. Now she’s spending the night with a new friend, an older friend who lives downtown. Or she’ll stay alone at Henry’s. For some reason she’s not driving over to her Grandmother’s much anymore. I fucked up. I never should have let her go.
Comments (7)
Prudy, Why is it that other folks make our life so difficult? Five minutes and it impacts everyone to accomodate 5 minutes. WTF?
We all fuck up. I need more fingers and toes to count mine. You’re still pretty damn good.
you make mistakes, grams makes mistakes, x makes mistakes, kids make mistakes- enough blame to go around, but it’s better if you can focus on what is right… and working… and applying bandaids when the mistakes need them!
You love your family. They will be okay. It’s effect, the noun. Affect is a verb, when you’re actually affecting something. Effect is the end result.
why can’t you get her back? It should be her choice of course but maybe you could set up a girls night a couple times a month- sleepover… How old is she?
Sometimes with divorce you’re just damned if you do and damned if you don’t. OF course, sometimes families in general are that way! I try to remind myself that not everything is a result of the divorce and that “intact” families have their shares of problems as well. Give yourself a break. You obviously love them. I’m sure they know that. And despite that, they will still make bad choices. Now, remind ME of this as mine get older please!
/hugs
So complicated…you can’t change the past, only make a difference in her future.