Month: September 2005

  • It’s fall, I think.  I just went on a walk with dog treats in my pocket and a leash, and it was a huge success.  She came when I whistled and, when another dog owner using a leash appeared,  I leashed her up.  She was able to stay at a heel, with not too much resistance, so this idea that I can’t walk her because she’s not leash-trained won’t work as an excuse anymore.  It’s high time I got back out there.  I bet I’ve written that before.


    The other good thing was that I made a friend.  There’s this woman who lives by the river and I was on a bike ride once, marveling at the amount of dirt she’d had delivered.  She’d used gargantuan rocks and made a bed around the front and sides of her corner lot.  Cool house, too. Today I noticed that all the dirt and rock was in place and planted with mature plants.  It looked like they’d always been there.  Well, I didn’t remember it was her but she joined me on the walk with her dog and we all got along famously.  She even remembered my dog from the dog park (fenced with no leash law) I go to every once in a while.  It’s a drive and sometimes the dogs are a little crazy.  But she remembered mine for the way it runs and runs and runs.


    I have absolutely no excuse to put off hiring some of the workers, now that it looks like I’ll have some money coming in.  I went by a guy’s house on the walk, who has a truck advertising his woodworking services.  He saw me getting a closer look and was peering back at me.  I decided I’d keep looking.  I want to be my own contractor so I’m going to start hunting people down.  I need tile people, and plumbers, guys to do finish work, and an electrician.  I can do the painting and make curtains.  Fall is so invigorating, don’t you think?


    I always am relieved when summer’s over.  I try to cram so much fun in, remembering to do all the things I love because the sun comes and goes so fast here.  Today when I looked out to see the first bit of rain, which was brief, I went back and had another cup of tea, figuring I should maybe get to work finally.  I ended up on the phone all day.  But that was a good thing.  My girls and I are really close right now. We were all talking to each other back and forth today, plus my ex MIL, who I’ve been avoiding but miss.


    Today when I was walking I felt good about life.  Most of the time I feel bad that I’m not getting more done on the book and the house and that my dog isn’t getting daily training.  I look in the mirror and wonder why I’m so lazy about my hair, and I open the refrigerator and eat leftovers, chiding myself for not cooking more.  But on my walk I looked out over the river and felt the first rush of fall breeze blowing the leaves off the trees, and I congratulated myself on another good summer.

  • Came home for a quick meal and to check in.  Been with the oldest all day (exploratory surgery that turned into more but she’s fine now)  That’s where I’ve been the last couple days.  Now it’s the middle one.  I can’t believe there is not more training for motherhood, especially for those later years when they can really get screwed up.  Maybe if I’d watched Dr. Phil I would have done better trying to talk them in and out of things; point the way.  And I always wish I’d taken a job as a maid long enough to learn to clean properly.  Oh, and I’ve been talking with my ex-husband every day, for the first time in — Well, since we sold the last lot – because we got an offer on the beach lot so that’s been freaky.  He says I owe him 6%.  Whatever.  I probably owe him more than that.  I think he’s suing me for full custody of the youngest.  Which is a little late in the game as she’ll be 18 in March.  But she got a job right by his house, plus school started, which is right there, too.  Plus all her friends.  Lawyers, great. 

  • If you want to go back further, the story began July 3rd as a Creative Writing Challenge.  The topic was:  There’s a knock on the door and it’s someone from your past.  Or something like that.  Once I got started I couldn’t stop.  Some of it is autobiographical.  If you can’t see it and I’m subscribed to you, let me know.

  • If you’re new to this, rather than going all the way back, you can pretty much get the gist of things by starting here: 

    Saturday, August 20, 2005







    Dear Keith,

    Remember, this is a very rough, first draft.  If you see something that makes you stop, please let me know.

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