October 8, 2004
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The caliber of the women I just spent this afternoon with never ceases to amaze me. These women belong to the support group I attended after my second mastectomy. Every Tuesday, from 10:30 ’til 12:00 we’d sit around, some of us with our wigs on the table, swapping information and talking about how we were doing. There’d be crying and there’d be laughing. These are the bravest women I’ve ever met, and tough and articulate and passionate and I could go on and on. Sometimes we’d have guest speakers. There’d be an ongoing discussion about whatever book we had chosen to read, as a group. And for quite a while we would begin each session, with the lights out, listenting to a tape using guided imagery.
I felt comfortable the minute I walked through the door. The nurse who co-chaired the group, who had worked with cancer patients all her adult life, hosted a luncheon in her home. This was a first for us but, because we are such a tight group, there was no difference in the comfort level even though we weren’t sitting around our usual table. It was fun to see where this woman lived and how she lived. She just retired so I was curious to see what she went home to.
I was struck by how unusual we all are. Somehow, at the hospital, our eccentricities didn’t stand out as much. I’m not sure why that would be but, as we each took a turn telling what our experience in the kitchen had been, I realized that I didn’t have much in common with anyone. And that’s probably it. Usually the focus is cancer, and we all had that in common. I’ve never been much for groups so I had no idea how wonderful a close group can be. When you share your life, every Tuesday, with people there develops a bond, and when I stepped inside the house, it was like stepping into a safety zone. There’s an ease about a room where everyone knows you intimately. They’ve seen you at your worst, and they respect you. They might not want to call you for lunch, but you are part of the group and they care about your welfare. You belong.
The women doing the cooking were two Naturopaths who have started up a business. They put together a folder, with the recipes and nutritional info about the ingredients, the focus being anti-cancer, and they took us in the kitchen and showed us how to prepare the food. Then they served and cleaned up. I think they will do well because it’s a fun idea for a party and who doesn’t have at least one question they’d like to ask a Naturopath without having to make an appointment? Plus the food was great!
